Ever since Luke Wilson sauntered onto the screen in Old School, I knew no one would ever look quite so good in a sweater vest.  So when I heard he was filming a movie in our area, I couldn’t help but hope I’d magically run into him somewhere....

I’m not usually one to crush on movie stars.  For one thing, it just seems seriously unrealistic, for another it sounds like too much work…constantly competing with groupies, keeping up with all the latest wrinkle treatments, being judged by the entire E! team every time you leave your house, figuring out totally bizarre names for your children… 

I do, however, love to read U.S. Weekly and Star Magazine when I’m supposed to be working, and I’m totally enthralled with the “Stars, They’re Just Like Us” pictures.  I mean, just knowing that Jessica Simpson also takes out her trash, eats ice cream, and sneezes really makes my life seem less boring. 

So when my friend called me and told me he was out with Luke Wilson at a bar in Ardmore, I was thrilled.  To my credit, I didn’t spend hours picking out the perfect outfit or trying to figure out what our celebrity couple name would be (partially because I was afraid that if I took too long, he would have left, but still).  But I did determine that I would play it cool.  Just a normal, average Sunday night, hanging out with a major movie star, drinkin’ beers, talking, and watching passerbys do doubletakes at our table. 

I walked into the bar, said hello to my friends, and he stuck out his hand and said, “Hi, I’m Luke.” It was so casual, like he was some average guy, not the man every girl secretly wanted to marry after watching Legally Blonde. 

So I shook his hand, said hi, and then pretended to ignore him and watch the Phillies game.  I say “pretended to ignore” because while I was staring intently at the TV screen I was desperately trying to pick up on every word he said.  I am so not smooth. 

I quickly realized that every little thing he did could totally end up as a picture in a tabloid.  As he carries two pitchers of beer for the six people at our table, Does Luke Wilson Have a Drinking Problem?  As he describes how he bashed up the bridge of his nose trying to do a pullup, Wilson Brother Brawls.  As he sits between two girls, Luke Wilson: Ladies Man.  As he shows us pictures of dogs on his cell phone, Luke Wilson: Ladies Man.  As he puts his arm around one girl and drinks out of another one’s glass, Luke Wilson: Ladies Man.  Well, I guess there is some truth in those pictures…Too bad there weren’t any paparazzi lurking in the corner.  I would have loved to have been “Unidentified Woman #2.” 

At one point some guy dressed in baggy jeans, a sweatshirt, and a baseball cap walked into the room, and told Luke he was leaving.  Luke nodded and went back into his conversation.  The guy, obviously more agitated, asked, “Are you coming with me?”  Luke said, “No,” and the man pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, jotted down an address and hurled it at one of my friends.  “Fine,” he said, “you get him home.” 

When the man left we looked at Luke and asked who the intruder was.  “My driver,” he laughed.  “Can somebody give me a ride home?”  Everyone at the table nodded, and he said, “Let me rephrase that. Can any girl give me a ride home?” 

(No, I didn’t volunteer…and it wasn’t just because my boyfriend was sitting right next to me, inching closer every second…) 

A few minutes later, an obviously drunk guy came over and sat at our table.  None of us really paid him any attention, but all of a sudden a bouncer came over, grabbed him by the neck, took his beer out of his hand, and threw him out the door.  Seriously.  At a dive bar in Ardmore. 

“Great,” Luke laughed.  “Now I’m going to get shot when I walk outside and I didn’t even do anything!” 

To his credit, Luke seemed like a very laid-back guy.  He wasn’t afraid to make fun of himself, throw back a couple of beers, or say hello to a bunch of random strangers.  He considers himself a Mark Twain expert (why, I have no idea), gets mad when golfers offer him “swing tips,” and still gets star struck around celebrities like Morgan Freeman.