Pitch a Tent at Pitcher’s Pub When my ex, Geoff, and I first separated, we split Main Street down the middle. In our Custody Battle for Alcoholic Establishments, I attained the Bayou while he obtained Pitcher’s Pub. Now that he’s not around, I have free range of all the bars on Main Street again. Yipee freakin’ doo! I can once again, chill at one of my favorite sport’s bars in the ‘Yunk!

Pitchers Pub is one of the smaller, lesser known sport’s bars in Manayank. Rumor has it, some hot chick bought it not too long ago, turning a bar that townies, homeless people, and dogs used to frequent, into a bar where “everyone who’s anyone” will pop in for a beer or ten. 

The bartenders at Pitchers are mostly women. Well, girls. And they mostly all have big boobs. Although, oddly enough, I don’t feel threatened when I order a drink. The girls manage to keep a friendly exterior that will not scare away self-conscious female patrons. Naturally, stocking hot chicks behind the bar ensures that the male patrons will not only visit the bar, but also stay the duration of the night. 

Unlike The Bayou, Pitcher’s uses the fact that, more than anything in world, guys like girls with big boobs and beer. So, the thought process seems to naturally lend itself to the following employer theory: Why not hire a plethora of hot chicks who serve beer? Thus, in a genius move, Pitcher’s Pub did just that. 

Pitcher’s also has food. I’ve never had it. Although, I must say it does smell like bar food when you are in there. And, it smells like it would taste. What I mean is, it smells like freezer burn, grease, someone cooking to put himself through college, and a lack of vegetarian options. Nevertheless, that is all we ask of our Sport’s bars, is it not? So, logically, I’m thinking if it smells like bar food, it most likely tastes like bar food, and that is exactly what we want.

Of course, no decent sport’s bar would be complete without a few obnoxiously-sized TVs. Well, Pitcher’s is no different. Regardless of its small interior, the bar has about 3 or 4, rather large, flat screen TVs. And why wouldn’t they? Men now-a-days are incapable of watching “the game” on anything that doesn’t say “LCD” on it (whatever the F that means). So, not only does Pitcher’s have beer, but it also has serious, game-like watching qualities, that serious game-like watching, LCD loving manboys happen to heart. 

But despite all the wonderful things I’ve just mentioned, I have yet to mention Pitcher’s best asset. The Jukebox. That’s right. The Jukebox at Pitcher’s is one of the most serious music playing machines this side of Philly. It is the type of Jukebox that has every song ever made, simply because it’s digital. And, in a surprising move, it also has NASA type capabilities. That is, if it doesn’t have your song, it will connect to the satellites in outer space and find the God Dammed song for which you are searching! No lie.

But don’t take my word for it. Go check it out yourself. Big TVs, bar food, music, sports, beer, girls with big titties - there’s no way you won’t pitch a tent at Pitcher’s!