5. Decide who you'll vote for on this week's finale of American Idol.

Ok, we know the choices are really slim and disappointing, (for god's sake, we all know the winner will be named David) but maybe getting your mind off a frozen puck for a while and into the warmth that is David Archuleta, will really cure that chapped ass of yours.

4. Check out that new restaurant on Main Street.

You think we're kidding, there really is a new place on Main Street. We're not sure what its called, but it seems like they stole a lil' something from all the other places on the block...i.e. the coffee from La Colombe, the pizzas and salads from Couch Tomato, and maybe even the pastries from LeBus. We're not sure. We think its near Pitchers, so Flyers fans, we think you should make a collective trip to this new place and give them some business because they very well might not last too long.

 3. Buy a cute puppy and walk it down Main Street.

Why not? Every other 20-something yuppy girl is doing it? Bonus if you cause an accident when a popped-collar Sapphire toolbag rear-ends the Civic in front of him because he's too busy staring at your fake breast to drive carefully. Double bonus if he hits a biker.

2. Go investigate: Is the Cactus place next to the Bayou really a gay bar?

We didn't say it, but we do agree that cactuses are sorta phallic. Besides, Manayunk supports the gay population, so why not, right?

 

1. Move to another city.

We think somewhere in the northeast, like Boston would be a good start....And if moving isn't quite your speed, maybe just start rooting for college sports. At least those kids have heart...and teeth...for that matter.